I don’t even know how to start this post. My mind continues to run at a mile a minute but my body cannot keep up. I sometimes get caught up in negative thoughts. Who doesn’t? The mundane ways of life get me down.
Wake up with bags under my eyes. Apply make up to cover the bags. Attempt a hairstyle. Redo the hairstyle. Repeat several times. Make breakfast. Drive to work early and sit at my desk too overwhelmed to do all that is required. Teach, teach, teach. Take care of 20 tiny humans social, mental, physical, and emotional needs. Snack because I’ve somehow become an emotional eater. Try and resist a caffeinated drink and substitute water, only to pounce on the chance to get a soda when I find enough quarters in the bottom of my purse. Leave the school with a sigh, knowing I barely scratched the surface. Drive home, usually stopping at the store to grab a necessity we convienently ran out of before the weekly shopping trip. Get up the nerve to work out. Start dinner. Clean the kitchen after destroying it from the process of making dinner. Try and relax with my guy, but mentally I am making a list of all that I didn’t get to today. Browse social media instead of getting to that list. Shower. Pray. Sleep. Attempt again.
Am I kidding myself?
This process is exhausting. I am purely going through the motions. I don’t know how to slow my mind down enough for my thoughts to appear coherent. Life requires balance. I am in need of balance.
How do you find balance in your life? I’d like to say I have the answer, but I don’t.
Prioritize the simple things that keep me going. And go from there. It’s ok to say “that’s all I can do for today”, it’s not ok to be lazy. I’m teetering on the side of lazy. Not on purpose, just from exhaustion. Recenter. Focus on the important: self, family, faith.