If I could pause a moment, like on the tv, and step outside of myself, what would I see? 

I would see a woman with a tired smile and dark circles around her eyes. A woman who works hard and barely has the energy to fold laundry once a week. 

She didn’t use to be this way. I would think. 

I can picture myself walking around in this paused moment taking everything in. People rushing, shouting on their cell phones, frustrated at the car in front of them. 

 I would stop by an ice cream shop and scoop myself a mint chip ice cream cone and leave my payment on the counter. I mean I gotta have my ice cream. 

And in this moment I realize I love who I am, I’ve simply forgotten. 

The world we live in is so focused on becoming and perfecting that any error to meet those standards leaves us feeling flawed. 

I mean I am the kind of person who, in her own frozen moment fantasy, pays for the ice cream because it’s the right thing to do. Who does that? 

I am writing this because I feel I have lost sight of who I am and have replaced it with who YOU want me to be. Whoever YOU is. I don’t even know when these skewed notions of who we are “supposed” to be came into play. But they are powerful notions. 

It’s exhausting doing something to get someone else’s approval. In a world where skinny is size 2 or 00 it’s nearly impossible to keep up. Well I’m a 4 so I’m definitely not skinny in YOUR eyes right?  Are we kidding ourselves?? 

Success and happiness should not solely be based on dress size, facial structure, makeup application abilities. Those things are great but in the end I’m never satisfied, I’m always comparing, and grasping for more of myself to change or mold to YOUR expectations.  I am always left feeling like I didn’t measure up.

Is that what we want the people in our society and world to feel like? Never enough? That’s the messages media, movie stars, and the big shots teach us. 

Well I choose to deny them that right to tell me what I am. Because I am enough. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worth being loved. 

I think some of women’s greatest battles can be the fight within themselves. We rate ourselves when we look in the mirror. I think we have forgotten who the girl is staring back at us. The little girl that played with dolls and just wanted to fall in love. Or the little girl who played ball and scraped her knees with the boys. Whoever it was, be true to her. Because she trusted that she would grow up to become someone amazing and special, and that you would continue to love her. 

Don’t let the expectations of the world change what she so desperately wanted to become. Look at yourself, look past your flaws, and find one thing to love. Start from there. Plant a seed of self love in your heart and it will grow. Nourish it daily. Water it with your tears, and give it sunshine to thrive off of. 

You don’t realize how beautiful you are until you look at who is inside. 


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