Lately I have been finding myself daydreaming about being a mother. It is highly possible that I feel this way because all of my close friends seem to be having babies. One of my best friends from college had her first baby on Tuesday, and my desire to be a mother peeked. Poor T.
I started imagining myself welcoming a child into this world, late night feedings, singing time, watching my husband become an incredible father, etc. I imagined watching him holding our son or daughter and falling more in love with the man who helped create this tiny life. It all seemed so perfect and so glamorous. Then I suddenly felt pained with guilt. Here’s why:
I realized that I wasn’t choosing to be happy in my Now. I was finding and seeing life in the future and finding happiness in that. Little did I realize, while I did this I was becoming ungrateful or unhappy with my current life. WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I am so happy and so blessed in my Now. So my daily dose of happy today is this: be happy in your life now. Don’t allow yourself to be caught saying “I’ll be happy when…” Because I can promise you if you think that way the little dot dot dot following the word “when” will never end. It will go on and on and you will constantly be chasing happiness. So be happy now. Make the choice -because after all that’s what happiness is: a choice -to be happy now.
I am happy with my marriage and being a newlywed. I am happy with my job. I am happy with my friends and family. I am happy with my little apartment I call home. I am happy with myself.
i am happy.
There is plenty of time in life to grow and experience new things. There is time to be a mother, now it is time for me to be a wife. There is nothing wrong with my desire to be a mother as long as I don’t forget to be the best wife I can be first. Now is my time to perfect myself and my happy so I remember to draw on that when I have those late nights, sick children, crying fits.
So be happy now. Live life in the now instead of in the “when’s” and “what if’s”. Make the most of every day you have.